This is amazing!!! Powerfully written, it draws you in and won’t let go. I loved how the LGBTQIA+ characters and families are portrayed as normal, rather than something to get hung up on. It gave me hope, so thank you for that. I can't wait for more!! (I mean, I can, don't burn yourself out, but I’ll be waiting with bated breath.)
Hi Hopelight2000! Thank you so much for the kind words about the writing!!
I've been so entrenched into LGBTQIA+ media, that the overwhelmingly positive response to the "gay dads" and similar genuinely baffled me! For all the inclusivity and diversity within interactive fiction, the community is both very progressive but also flawed. I am very happy that readers adore that characters are naturally and casually queer in my story, as much as it saddens me that it's not more common!
I'd written paragraphs more, but I will stop myself here, haha! :) I have a lot of thoughts on the story's setting and its attitude towards gender and sexuality, but I'll keep those for a future date.
Thank you so much for supporting my work! I would love nothing more but to please you with another update, believe me!! Much love!
I keep telling myself, stop playing the in-development ones, they're too good. Did I listen? No, of course not, don't ever take my advice (there's a little paradox for you). This has one of the deepest stories of all the interactive fiction games I've ever played, and that is quite the achievement. Your work is absolutely brilliant, author, and I give a massive round of applause for everyone who contributed!
Hi Egel_Wegel! I am very sorry to have been a source of great distress to you -- I personally barely have the heart and stomach to support WIPs but end up getting swept into it anyway...!
I truly appreciate all your kind works, and that is such extremely high flattery that I struggle to believe you on it! Cheers!
Ha! If you doubt yourself, maybe I should post some of my work just to show you a comparison! This game is awesome, also don't worry about distressing me lol, I'm always over it in two minutes and eagerly awaiting the rest of the story :]
what a great start to a story, I enjoyed it a lot and am figuratively starving for more :> -insert a whole bunch of raving about all the great things people before me have already pointed out-
I have a few questions and "critiques" after that (more like minor wishes).
Questions:
1. "This game will be free to play in its entirety" - I assume this is a passion project of yours, is / will there be any way to support you?
Whether that be financially, with art or fan-art, maybe even emotionally showing support.
(I wouldn't even know how to 'donate' here on itch without the download popup, which is not on your site)
2. Is there any way to keep updated with the progress and/or release notifications/reminders?
(I tried joining the discord but the link seems to be dead, also I honestly don't know how Tumblr works nor even have an account, so if Tumblr would work for that please enlighten me :>)
3. How will the 'release' -for the lack of a better term- work?
Will it be one big one with essentially a completed game, or will it be episodic just adding a chapter every so often, or something entirely different?
Critiques (actually just wishes):
1. You have got some incredible art available outside of the game atm, is there a chace it might be added into the game itself in some way or another?
2. I think someone before stated that they were missing audio, which while not needed can add a lot if able to execute well on it. (I'd especially recommend giving the free demo of 'Our Life: Now & Forever' a play, it has really cool dynamic music where I had to scroll up and down -to go back and forth chronologically- to even really notice the layers that started and stopped when for example a character showed up)
But audio is a very hard thing to get right, so my personal opinion -not like it's worth much, just food for thought- would be that having audio is only really worth if it is good enough to support the rest of the experience, which is a-helluva-alotta work.
3. How could you not have had 'Eternity' as a preset name for the MC honestly it writes itself and doesn't even sound bad for a name. :>
All in all I want to say, I think you really got something here and it's a crime that you plan for it to be free.
1. Yes, it is a passion project! A disclaimer that I do truly believe that authors should be compensated for their creative works. It is personally important to me to share my story with as many people as possible. I love reading and writing stories, and I love that everyone and anyone can access them. The downside to this, unfortunately, is that real life distracts me from this passion of mine, even when I want to do nothing but focus on it. The best way would be to find a way to support myself financially, but I'm stubborn about not receiving donations or tips despite paying 50-300% additional commercial fees on all the artwork I commission.
I've really, really thought about using a donation platform in the past, donating a majority of the profits to charities I care about, and keeping as much as I need to cover taxes + pay for a nice cup of coffee. The moment I accept money for this game, though, I really worry that it will change it for me!
2. The discord is closed for now, sorry! I want to make it available when I am more active again.
Tumblr is the best way to keep updated. You don't need an account to view posts, and you can always submit questions anonymously! I post infrequently, but that is the first place I write anything. Check in every few months to see if I say something of note there!
Itch.io is the best for actually content updates since I also write update posts here when anything of substance is added. More insignificant ones or insights to the lore or characters are on the blog.
3. I plan it to release the work on a chapter-basis! On a tangential note, I don't plan on making this a series; I want a complete work that I can keep adding updates towards, similar to the development of Stardew Valley post-release. I hate this comparison since I feel unworthy, but that is the model of development I want to strive towards. Updates until completion, and updates even afterwards!
As for your critiques:
1. You're absolutely right! At the initial release, the codex and stats page were the most rushed aspects that I added as placeholders. The story itself was the focal point. Of course I should've known how important those things were to the experience.
Next time, I will aim to implement the wonderful character art into the game, but I need to really consider how to make a pleasing character and worldbuilding codex!!! That will take me forever.
2. I just answered the previous comment in detail about music with your post in mind! There is definitely a lot to consider regarding actually doing it correctly. When I add it, I will be very careful with it.
3. BAH, so on the nose, but maybe I'll add it just for you!!
Thank you so much for your detailed comment, and I hope I answered it all with as much enthusiasm,Pibk! <3
Hi Kuejena! Updates are extremely slow, and I only have myself overthinking about the plot and lore to blame for it!! Thank you so much for the comment!
this is beautiful world-building. would have loved it with music though. it was awfully quiet. I love love love having to use my imagination for most if not all the scenes. The website for your characters are most helpful too! Nice game!
Hi dollface444! Thank you so much for bringing my attention to music. I have thought an inordinate amount about commissioning a composer, but I have reservations. I want a soundtrack that is suited for the long-term without getting grating, and for it to not be too distracting for readers. That requires a lot of consideration!
I had made the decision that it was important it was to me to have a nearly pure text-based IF. I'm a minimalist! Text-based IFs are charming to me; I don't want to detract from what makes it unique from visual novels in the first place. I love pure text interactive fiction because it feels like a book that is "interactive" more than it is a game.
Still, my mind is very open to adding music -- and like I said, I've thought about the idea way more than I'd like. When I change my mind, I will have to credit you for it!!
Please excuse my rambling. I've always wanted to mention it!
I am so glad that there are people who are actually taking a look at the website; I wasn't sure if it was actually very useful, so it's super gratifying to hear you mention it!!
I havent started the first chapter yet, but I can already tell im going to like this game a lot just with the amount of detail im getting in the desc 😭
what a wonderful first chapter, i replayed this now for the 3rd time, simply because i love the entire flow of the story and the world building so much! i really cant wait for more :3
l0rnia, I am so stunned!! I can hardly sift through my own writing, so it's amazing to hear you sat through it three times, that's just! Thank you so much for loving my work and for supporting me, I hope you'll continue to keep an eye out!
I adore the world you've painted for us! Very clever, and the options are very varied and encompassing! Beautiful story-telling! I love each character introduced so far- so excited for whatever direction you take!
Hi w6rm! Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know your thoughts — I'm so delighted that you think that the options are varied and that you loved the storytelling and characters! Those are definitely the main things I'm looking out for. Thank you again and I hope you'll continue to stay updated!
Hi ursqlf! Thanks for letting me know. I think that only happens when you choose to skip transitions, am I correct? I'll investigate it — so sorry for the inconvenience!
Do you mind if you let me know what device you're using? Sometimes my code can be a little messed up depending on the screen size and aspect ratio, so I want to test out what it looks like. Thank you so much for reporting it!
I absolutely love this, I'm truly impressive and blown away! Hopefully you know how wonderful this weave of story ans characters is, if not check yourself and try feel the pride you deserve!
you have inspired me to keep going with my own story (only just recently found that this was an option)
Can't wait for more but also so confused as to who I'll end up with cause right now they all seem just too amazing to not!
Thank you so much, Insomniacbandit!! I am so happy you liked it and extremely flattered. I am not sure if anyone told you before that you give out great compliments — I have to take notes because I'm usually not very good at that myself!
I'm not sure if it's a story that is just personal or private to you, but if you ever choose to publish or share it with the world, please don't forget to let me know! I'd love to see what you've written!! (And to know what you mean when you say you only just found out?)
This game has such a phenomenal style to it! The writing seems to accentuate the characters and use them to drive the plot, and it works because the characters are interesting and vivid.
Calicol, I've never heard anyone say my writing did that -- you had me reading back on my work and trying to understand how you saw it in there! You helped me fall in love with my own writing again, which I confess is very hard at times. Thank you so much for your words, and I hope you'll keep supporting my work ❤️
I started playing and as a writer who doesn't see stuff like this here often (maybe because I don't look,) so my jaw DROPPED when I began reading. Already I cannot wait for what's next and I am so excited.
CrustyOldPete, you should definitely look up more Twine games on the platform! There is a tag for it if you are unaware... there are so many more remarkable writing you have yet to see, I highly encourage you go out for it! Tbr writing is as, if not much better than the one you see in my work!
I am still so honored to hear glowing praise from another writer -- thank you so much for letting me know your thoughts!
It is amazing, immersive, so, so well written. It gives me joy to read such style of writing, like, I mean, it's just...MAN I am going to EAT my pc. I'm gnawing at this story
Your words are so touching!! I figured it would be hard to digest for some; I'm glad you ended up liking it!
Thank you so much for taking the time to write, I can't express my gratitude enough ♥️♥️ it's a open secret that writers LOVE your energy when you write your enthusiasm about their work!!
killermooch, you have no idea how much I feel the same way about my own writing -- wishing I wrote more! Thanks again for playing and for your kind words!
Seems interesting, though I had some trouble parsing the narration near the end. Would've been funny to have the ability to call Ciocana out for being a god when the MC realized it, but I realize there's a number of traits to account for and this is a minor thing. I've been curious how an outside perspective would see our MC, given all the other gods seem to have pieces of their divinity that shine through no matter what.
Hi undeadDreamer, sorry for the confusion towards the end; it's not supposed to be understood very well as it is hinting at something we aren't supposed to know yet, if youre referring to what I think you are!
I believe feedback on how you wish your MC can respond is extremely helpful, and I'm happy to include that option in the game!
I have also received a question about how other people view MC... I might change the character profile to be in the style of viewing yourself the way you might view other characters, and the description varies on a combination of characteristics. This sounds pretty ambitious but exciting, but I am keen on incorporating it!
Thank you so much for your detailed thoughts and the time you spent reading, I really really appreciate it!
Hello Spiritual-Chemistry! It's just new art for now. The art is actually quite old, commissioned back when I was actively working on the IF. I previously wanted to hold onto it until Chapter 2 came out. However, since I went on hiatus and returned, I've decided to release it.
the new art looks beautiful wow!!! the original design will always have a place in my heart for being so charming, meanwhile this new era of visuals is ✨ wow
The original art is so charming, but I wanted to have unique art for even different gender presentations of the ROs, hence new art! They looked quite same-y, as I was scraping some money just to be able to get new commissions at all.
I'm glad you liked then new design, hwhy2!! Thanks for your kind comment!
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This is amazing!!! Powerfully written, it draws you in and won’t let go. I loved how the LGBTQIA+ characters and families are portrayed as normal, rather than something to get hung up on. It gave me hope, so thank you for that. I can't wait for more!! (I mean, I can, don't burn yourself out, but I’ll be waiting with bated breath.)
Hi Hopelight2000! Thank you so much for the kind words about the writing!!
I've been so entrenched into LGBTQIA+ media, that the overwhelmingly positive response to the "gay dads" and similar genuinely baffled me! For all the inclusivity and diversity within interactive fiction, the community is both very progressive but also flawed. I am very happy that readers adore that characters are naturally and casually queer in my story, as much as it saddens me that it's not more common!
I'd written paragraphs more, but I will stop myself here, haha! :) I have a lot of thoughts on the story's setting and its attitude towards gender and sexuality, but I'll keep those for a future date.
Thank you so much for supporting my work! I would love nothing more but to please you with another update, believe me!! Much love!
I keep telling myself, stop playing the in-development ones, they're too good. Did I listen? No, of course not, don't ever take my advice (there's a little paradox for you). This has one of the deepest stories of all the interactive fiction games I've ever played, and that is quite the achievement. Your work is absolutely brilliant, author, and I give a massive round of applause for everyone who contributed!
Hi Egel_Wegel! I am very sorry to have been a source of great distress to you -- I personally barely have the heart and stomach to support WIPs but end up getting swept into it anyway...!
I truly appreciate all your kind works, and that is such extremely high flattery that I struggle to believe you on it! Cheers!
Ha! If you doubt yourself, maybe I should post some of my work just to show you a comparison! This game is awesome, also don't worry about distressing me lol, I'm always over it in two minutes and eagerly awaiting the rest of the story :]
Haihai,
what a great start to a story, I enjoyed it a lot and am figuratively starving for more :> -insert a whole bunch of raving about all the great things people before me have already pointed out-
I have a few questions and "critiques" after that (more like minor wishes).
Questions:
1. "This game will be free to play in its entirety" - I assume this is a passion project of yours, is / will there be any way to support you?
Whether that be financially, with art or fan-art, maybe even emotionally showing support.
(I wouldn't even know how to 'donate' here on itch without the download popup, which is not on your site)
2. Is there any way to keep updated with the progress and/or release notifications/reminders?
(I tried joining the discord but the link seems to be dead, also I honestly don't know how Tumblr works nor even have an account, so if Tumblr would work for that please enlighten me :>)
3. How will the 'release' -for the lack of a better term- work?
Will it be one big one with essentially a completed game, or will it be episodic just adding a chapter every so often, or something entirely different?
Critiques (actually just wishes):
1. You have got some incredible art available outside of the game atm, is there a chace it might be added into the game itself in some way or another?
2. I think someone before stated that they were missing audio, which while not needed can add a lot if able to execute well on it. (I'd especially recommend giving the free demo of 'Our Life: Now & Forever' a play, it has really cool dynamic music where I had to scroll up and down -to go back and forth chronologically- to even really notice the layers that started and stopped when for example a character showed up)
But audio is a very hard thing to get right, so my personal opinion -not like it's worth much, just food for thought- would be that having audio is only really worth if it is good enough to support the rest of the experience, which is a-helluva-alotta work.
3. How could you not have had 'Eternity' as a preset name for the MC honestly it writes itself and doesn't even sound bad for a name. :>
All in all I want to say, I think you really got something here and it's a crime that you plan for it to be free.
As for your questions;
1. Yes, it is a passion project! A disclaimer that I do truly believe that authors should be compensated for their creative works. It is personally important to me to share my story with as many people as possible. I love reading and writing stories, and I love that everyone and anyone can access them. The downside to this, unfortunately, is that real life distracts me from this passion of mine, even when I want to do nothing but focus on it. The best way would be to find a way to support myself financially, but I'm stubborn about not receiving donations or tips despite paying 50-300% additional commercial fees on all the artwork I commission.
I've really, really thought about using a donation platform in the past, donating a majority of the profits to charities I care about, and keeping as much as I need to cover taxes + pay for a nice cup of coffee. The moment I accept money for this game, though, I really worry that it will change it for me!
2. The discord is closed for now, sorry! I want to make it available when I am more active again.
Tumblr is the best way to keep updated. You don't need an account to view posts, and you can always submit questions anonymously! I post infrequently, but that is the first place I write anything. Check in every few months to see if I say something of note there!
Itch.io is the best for actually content updates since I also write update posts here when anything of substance is added. More insignificant ones or insights to the lore or characters are on the blog.
3. I plan it to release the work on a chapter-basis! On a tangential note, I don't plan on making this a series; I want a complete work that I can keep adding updates towards, similar to the development of Stardew Valley post-release. I hate this comparison since I feel unworthy, but that is the model of development I want to strive towards. Updates until completion, and updates even afterwards!
As for your critiques:
1. You're absolutely right! At the initial release, the codex and stats page were the most rushed aspects that I added as placeholders. The story itself was the focal point. Of course I should've known how important those things were to the experience.
Next time, I will aim to implement the wonderful character art into the game, but I need to really consider how to make a pleasing character and worldbuilding codex!!! That will take me forever.
2. I just answered the previous comment in detail about music with your post in mind! There is definitely a lot to consider regarding actually doing it correctly. When I add it, I will be very careful with it.
3. BAH, so on the nose, but maybe I'll add it just for you!!
Thank you so much for your detailed comment, and I hope I answered it all with as much enthusiasm,Pibk! <3
I wonder if this story will get any more updates, I really hope so!
Hi Kuejena! Updates are extremely slow, and I only have myself overthinking about the plot and lore to blame for it!! Thank you so much for the comment!
Haven't started to play yet but I know I'll love it already !!
You make me nervous!! Please let me know if you ever got a chance to read it!
I did ! It's amazing, I absolutely love the writing !! I've played many times since then
this is beautiful world-building. would have loved it with music though. it was awfully quiet. I love love love having to use my imagination for most if not all the scenes. The website for your characters are most helpful too! Nice game!
Hi dollface444! Thank you so much for bringing my attention to music. I have thought an inordinate amount about commissioning a composer, but I have reservations. I want a soundtrack that is suited for the long-term without getting grating, and for it to not be too distracting for readers. That requires a lot of consideration!
I had made the decision that it was important it was to me to have a nearly pure text-based IF. I'm a minimalist! Text-based IFs are charming to me; I don't want to detract from what makes it unique from visual novels in the first place. I love pure text interactive fiction because it feels like a book that is "interactive" more than it is a game.
Still, my mind is very open to adding music -- and like I said, I've thought about the idea way more than I'd like. When I change my mind, I will have to credit you for it!!
Please excuse my rambling. I've always wanted to mention it!
I am so glad that there are people who are actually taking a look at the website; I wasn't sure if it was actually very useful, so it's super gratifying to hear you mention it!!
Thank you again for the lovely lovely comment!
this if is soo good holy. Also in love with Ciocana
Thank you so much, Bat -- and join the club, haha!!
I havent started the first chapter yet, but I can already tell im going to like this game a lot just with the amount of detail im getting in the desc 😭
Haha you can't say that without having played it yet!! Please let me know what you thought of it when you get a chance! 🫶
what an amazing prologue!! the writing is stupendous, and the story is ever interesting and intriguing !! <33
Thank you thank you thank you so much, hamgyuus!!!
what a wonderful first chapter, i replayed this now for the 3rd time, simply because i love the entire flow of the story and the world building so much! i really cant wait for more :3
l0rnia, I am so stunned!! I can hardly sift through my own writing, so it's amazing to hear you sat through it three times, that's just! Thank you so much for loving my work and for supporting me, I hope you'll continue to keep an eye out!
Geeeee Love it！！！😍your writing style is AWSOME！
Yuuxiiii thank you so so much for your enthusiasm I love it!!! I am so happy you like my writing!
My reminder to go play it lol >-<
remember to read it
Remember to read it and let me know your thoughts! :) Thank you so much for considering my work!
I adore the world you've painted for us! Very clever, and the options are very varied and encompassing! Beautiful story-telling! I love each character introduced so far- so excited for whatever direction you take!
Thank you!
Hi w6rm! Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know your thoughts — I'm so delighted that you think that the options are varied and that you loved the storytelling and characters! Those are definitely the main things I'm looking out for. Thank you again and I hope you'll continue to stay updated!
am i the only one thats stuck with a black screen in the "Welcome, young one" i cant do anything or get pass it is it my device thats the problem?
Hi ursqlf! Thanks for letting me know. I think that only happens when you choose to skip transitions, am I correct? I'll investigate it — so sorry for the inconvenience!
Do you mind if you let me know what device you're using? Sometimes my code can be a little messed up depending on the screen size and aspect ratio, so I want to test out what it looks like. Thank you so much for reporting it!
this was amazing!!! so so cool!!
I'm really really glad you think so Rae! Thank you so much!!
THIS WAS SO GOOOOOOODDDDDDD
THANK YOU APOLLO!!!! <3
Oh my god it was so good
Thank you so much for the kind words, LsYpx!! :)
I love that the default name if you type your own is morbius
It's an old joke now I'm sure, but I'm keeping it! Thank you so much, Beetlethebat!!
I absolutely love this, I'm truly impressive and blown away! Hopefully you know how wonderful this weave of story ans characters is, if not check yourself and try feel the pride you deserve!
you have inspired me to keep going with my own story (only just recently found that this was an option)
Can't wait for more but also so confused as to who I'll end up with cause right now they all seem just too amazing to not!
Thank you so much, Insomniacbandit!! I am so happy you liked it and extremely flattered. I am not sure if anyone told you before that you give out great compliments — I have to take notes because I'm usually not very good at that myself!
I'm not sure if it's a story that is just personal or private to you, but if you ever choose to publish or share it with the world, please don't forget to let me know! I'd love to see what you've written!! (And to know what you mean when you say you only just found out?)
Much love to you!!
This game has such a phenomenal style to it! The writing seems to accentuate the characters and use them to drive the plot, and it works because the characters are interesting and vivid.
Going to be keeping an eye on this game for sure.
Calicol, I've never heard anyone say my writing did that -- you had me reading back on my work and trying to understand how you saw it in there! You helped me fall in love with my own writing again, which I confess is very hard at times. Thank you so much for your words, and I hope you'll keep supporting my work ❤️
Just giving credit where it's due. Good luck with your writing, and I'll definitely be watching for your stuff!
I started playing and as a writer who doesn't see stuff like this here often (maybe because I don't look,) so my jaw DROPPED when I began reading. Already I cannot wait for what's next and I am so excited.
CrustyOldPete, you should definitely look up more Twine games on the platform! There is a tag for it if you are unaware... there are so many more remarkable writing you have yet to see, I highly encourage you go out for it! Tbr writing is as, if not much better than the one you see in my work!
I am still so honored to hear glowing praise from another writer -- thank you so much for letting me know your thoughts!
Absolute cinema
Absolute, fucking CINEMA
It is amazing, immersive, so, so well written. It gives me joy to read such style of writing, like, I mean, it's just...MAN I am going to EAT my pc. I'm gnawing at this story
Hello Fate_Weave,
Your words are so touching!! I figured it would be hard to digest for some; I'm glad you ended up liking it!
Thank you so much for taking the time to write, I can't express my gratitude enough ♥️♥️ it's a open secret that writers LOVE your energy when you write your enthusiasm about their work!!
it was really fun and immersive, i just wish there was more
killermooch, you have no idea how much I feel the same way about my own writing -- wishing I wrote more! Thanks again for playing and for your kind words!
Seems interesting, though I had some trouble parsing the narration near the end. Would've been funny to have the ability to call Ciocana out for being a god when the MC realized it, but I realize there's a number of traits to account for and this is a minor thing. I've been curious how an outside perspective would see our MC, given all the other gods seem to have pieces of their divinity that shine through no matter what.
Hi undeadDreamer, sorry for the confusion towards the end; it's not supposed to be understood very well as it is hinting at something we aren't supposed to know yet, if youre referring to what I think you are!
I believe feedback on how you wish your MC can respond is extremely helpful, and I'm happy to include that option in the game!
I have also received a question about how other people view MC... I might change the character profile to be in the style of viewing yourself the way you might view other characters, and the description varies on a combination of characteristics. This sounds pretty ambitious but exciting, but I am keen on incorporating it!
Thank you so much for your detailed thoughts and the time you spent reading, I really really appreciate it!
ahhhh! the new art looks so beautiful!!!!
Thank you Lady kai!! I love the art as well!
New art as far as I know.
Hello Spiritual-Chemistry! It's just new art for now. The art is actually quite old, commissioned back when I was actively working on the IF. I previously wanted to hold onto it until Chapter 2 came out. However, since I went on hiatus and returned, I've decided to release it.
Thanks for all your patience!
so glad to hear this game is still alive!!
Wow! The character art is so serene!
Thank you, Clover!!
the new art looks beautiful wow!!! the original design will always have a place in my heart for being so charming, meanwhile this new era of visuals is ✨ wow
The original art is so charming, but I wanted to have unique art for even different gender presentations of the ROs, hence new art! They looked quite same-y, as I was scraping some money just to be able to get new commissions at all.
I'm glad you liked then new design, hwhy2!! Thanks for your kind comment!
Absolutely beautiful. Eagerly waiting for more <3
Thank you so much, (redacted)! (Didn't want to refer to you ever)